Chores

For years I've been trying to find a way to incorporate chores into the daily routine in the lives of the boys...There are a few reasons:

1.  While I love serving my family, I don't want it to feel like I'm their slave. I honestly need help so that I have more time to spend with them.

2. I want them to learn to be hard workers that do a good job...one day I want them to have a JOB

3.  I want them to enter a room and be able to access the situation and see what they could do to offer help and feel confident to complete a task ahead of them.

4.  They live here, I want them to contribute because thats part of being a family and being grateful for what we have- responsibility for our home.

5.  One day they will be someones husband and I already love my future daughter in laws enough to help my boys to know how to do everything around the house. 

Ive tried LOTS of ideas- and scoured and searched Pintrest even dedicated a whole board to the subject

Chore Chart- you do the chore and check off that you've completed it

Write Chores on a board and when you do it you mark your name off or put a tally mark by your name so I know you've completed it

Velcro Chart- when you complete a chore velcro it under your name

Popsicle stick chart - all the possible chores are written on sticks, with $ amounts on them I put your sticks in your "to do" envelope, once you complete it move it to "done" then at the end of the week we settle up and you get paid.

Marbles- every time you do a chore put a marble in your jar

All of the above worked for MAYBE a month at most.  Mainly because it was too much work for me to keep up with and sometimes the assigned chore I went ahead and completed or it didn't really need to be done and anytime money for the chores was involved both of us forgot to pay or ask for payment or they did the chore but didn't move a stick or marble....

Well, over the summer, over 7 months ago, I started a system that works and I love it.

At first it was met with resistance and complaining and arguing but after diligence on my end, even when at times I really didn't want to have the battle, persistence has paid off and now its something that has just become part of our normal routine.

Before you have screen time you complete a chore OR here are the chores that need to be done once they are finished then the three of you may have screen time. 

At first if one brother was finished with their chore first they would nag the other "hurry, why aren't you done...."  

BUT recently my heart has been warmed multiple times as they've said to each other- I'm finished with my chore can I help you with yours so we can both just go ahead and have screen time? 

WAIT.  DID YOU JUST OFFER TO DO EXTRA WORK? DID YOU JUST ON YOUR OWN OFFER TO HELP YOUR BROTHER?  

Now, I don't even have to say "before screen time you need to do your chores" They ask- Mom, what are the chores OR, looks like the dishes are clean can I unload the dishwasher for my chore...

Mason has been awesome at delegating the chores.   -- Like today....I said when you're done with homework I could really use some help unloading the dishwasher and matching all of the socks (seriously ALL of our socks are currently in one laundry basket that we've just been digging through on top of the dryer)

Mason quickly said "How about this guys, Ill just go ahead and do the dish washer since I can reach everything better and I'm quicker at it and Micah, you and Ethan just go ahead and lay all the socks out and match them up then I'll come in there and make sure you know how to put the matches together"

I was sitting at the table reading a book. 

After the dishwasher I tiptoed towards my bedroom to listen as Mason was giving gentle instructions on how to line the socks up and use your thumb to put them together.... 

SO Yes at the beginning trying to figure out how to incorporate chores was HORRIBLE, A LOT OF WORK, CONFLICT, Chores that were being done that I had to go back and REDO,....but NOW, most days, there are no complaints. They are helping me, I have more time to play with them, and I don't feel as overwhelmed with all the housework and they are gaining skills on how to work together, work hard, do something right, try something new, be responsible, be grateful....Chores are so wonderful. 

Sometimes fighting the battles are hard but its the war I'm interested in winning.