Stop saying, "I didn't make time"

Over a spontaneous Christmas Break Breakfast our family of five was blessed with the presence of both sets of Grandparents.  All the grandfathers had to do was say the grandkids would be there and the sleeping beauties were dressed and ready to go! One day the boys will realize how fortunate they are to have the gift of awesome grandparents who actually are fun nice people to be around.

While enjoying breakfast at Grid Iron, where kids eat free with an adult purchase (could be why we like the food so much) we were discussing Christmas break and how great it is that we are all together..."Couldn't every day be Christmas Day"  my dad responded with telling us that 'Christmas Time' is so amazing because we all slow down, have a break from our normal routine and we focus on being generous and giving to others.  So true!  If you're ever stuck in a rut, feeling sorry for yourself the best remedy is to give or serve someone else.  Too often in the routines of life we say, "I don't have time to grab lunch with you, when is there time to have a 30 min phone call, Theres Not Enough time in my day, I'm too busy..." the truth is we have all been given the same amount of hours in everyday and we need to own our choices.  So, for me, no more "I didn't have time to send Christmas Cards, or invite someone over for dinner, or get ice cream..." Im going to own my choices, and re phrase to "I didn't make time"  Ouch, Im sure this is going to hurt me the next time someone says, "man, we really need to get the kids together or we need to grab lunch sometime?" I'll have to respond with, "yes I'm sorry I didn't make time for that, for you"

I almost didn't make time for my favorite part of Christmas morning.

We were asked to shop for my Aunt Jackie this year so all of us could have gifts, no problem, its super fun to spend someone else money :) So we were on the ball and finished all of our Christmas shopping early this year!

SO when Mason sprung the idea that he wanted to use his own money to buy Christmas gifts for his brothers and Chris and I three days before Christmas when we already had those days filled with other activities and plans I was at first annoyed and bothered that he didn't plan earlier, that now I was going to have to try to figure out when in the world I could arrange childcare for his bothers and take him shopping with all the other last min shoppers who didn't make time earlier to shop for their loved ones.

Pause. Stop.

Mason is ten...TEN!  What ten year old asks to spend his own money to buy surprise Christmas gifts for his brothers, knowing that they may not have enough money to buy him anything in return. What ten year old sits at his desk and draws up a spread sheet with rows and columns filled with our names and gifts he wants to purchase and how much he can spend? (Beside mine and Chris' names was an * for an additional gift or sappy note/card) What mother in her right mind is initially bothered by this self motivated act of generousity from her son who's growing into an amazing young man?

Of all of the things I am thankful I made time for this Christmas it was for him to be able to act on his desire and thought to be generous.

SO, on the way to meet the cousins at Papa and Grandmaw's to bake Christmas treats to deliver to our neighbors, I let Mason run into the house grab his spread sheet and the $20 he had budgeted to spend on gifts and we stopped by 5 Below.

On pulling up we had decided that me and the younger two would go into the store and stand in a corner so Mason could seceretly shop and all the while the younger two were grumbling in their carseat and booster that they were going to have to go into a store (UGGH...Hes trying to buy a gift for YOU, and you're complaining). Mason asked if he could go in alone.

ALONE?  Your 10!!!!...TEN, ...your ten, responsible, you know exactly what your looking for, you've planned, this is something you really want to do...we pulled up and there was a parking spot close to the door.  I gave my speech, "Okay, you're right, your ten.  Don't look at anyone, don't talk to anyone, keep your money in your pocket, if you at any point feel awkward or uncomfortable leave your goods and come out the front door."  He grinned rolled his eyes, and said, "thanks mom, I got this"

I watched the clock and had decided that if he was in there longer than 12 minutes I was going to unbuckle the others and rescue Mason.

After nine minuets he was leaving the store with the biggest smile, full heart and I forever have this memory etched in my mind.

He sat down and said, "I asked them to double bag my purchase so you guys couldn't see what I got, I was worried for a min because all I had was a twenty dollar bill and I knew I'd be close, but the total was $19.86!"

Mason led the way, Micah then decided he wanted to buy something for Mason and Ethan with his money as well.

Christmas morning, my favorite part was watching them present the gifts they had saved for, picked out and wrapped (with a little help from me) to each other...and I may have also loved the "sappy note/card" that Mason presented to Chris and I.

During this new year approaching I hope I continue to MAKE TIME for what really matters.

Mom of BigGER kids

A little bit ago I was having a pity party to Chris about this sudden feeling/ emotion of loneliness.  So weird. I know a lot of people.  Lots of people know who I am.  I know that I am surrounded with great people and yet I feel alone.

My babies are growing up now...can I still call them babies at 10, 7 and 4?  oh wow, I feel like an old granny "my babies are so big"...but its true, they will always be my babies and no matter how old I am the three pregnancies I had will always count for the following-
-I have a muffin top (no matter how much I work out)
- I have sore knees (I'm a fairly small lady and my first born was almost 9 lbs and because they like to be on the floor I have a horrible habit of sitting on my knees)
- I am a light sleeper (I got in such a habit of listening to them so I could go to them before they woke anyone else)

Anyway, I am new at this whole "being a mom of bigger kids" and I'm sure I will like it I just have to figure out my role and the fact that they don't need me as much...or that they don't need me in the same way as in to survive...I know they really could use me so that they can thrive.

When you're a new mom you find other new mom friends to surround yourself with.  You fill your days obsessing about what time the baby woke, how much did they eat, when do they sleep again, are they meeting their milestones...on repeat for a year.  And just when its all figured out you have another, then another and for like a decade you've been doing the same thing.

Toddlerhood comes and you schedule playdates at parks and libraries and chick fila because you will lose your mind if you stay inside with your toddler ALL DAY LONG and constantly facing the battle of the wills is not a fun environment for someone who is normally an avoider of conflict.

They become preschoolers and you host more playdates at your house so your mom friends who have infants can get out of their house and nap their infant at your house while you plan stuff for the preschoolers and you get to carry on broken conversations between encouraging the little selfish humans to share and take turns and offering snacks and putting socks and shoes off and on and off and on...

Then one day all of your friends put their kiddos in preschool or no longer have any preschoolers and you're alone with your 4 year old at home. You love the one on one time and his cuteness is unparalleled and you know you should cherish these moments and you honestly do but then theres the whole adult interaction thats missing again.

So you agree to teach music one day a week at a local preschool so your son can have a 'preschool environment' and you REALLY love teaching preschoolers so its an awesome fit for the two of you and that gives you at least a chance to see other adults even if they leave the room as soon as you enter so they can have a break...it still counts.

You lead a women's bible study/ life group that you love but why don't you feel connected?  Why do you feel lonely? Is it a personal problem related to your monthly cycle, are you tired or getting sick? Or is it deeper?  Is God saying something to you? Or are you trying to over spiritualize something?

Everyone struggles with loneliness but when its YOU simply knowing that others feel the same way too isn't as comforting. So odd that in the middle of being surrounded by people you know love and appreciate you that you can still have the isolating feeling of disconnection even when you aren't physically alone.

God is enough.  He is bigger than loneliness. He's bigger than the changes to my role.  He is always with me.

Deuteronomy 31:6 Your God, the Lord Himself, will be with you.  He will not fail or abandon you.
Psalm 91:5 When they call to me, I will answer them; when they are in trouble, I will be with them.
Matthew 28:20 I will be with you always, to the end of the age.

Loneliness would seek to warp our minds and drain us of all incentive and purpose BUT Negative experiences can leave us with positive results.

The failure of others to meet my needs catapults a desire in me to meet the needs of others through encouragement and acts of service.   I know that I need other people in my life. I was not created to live independent of others.  So I'm choosing to recognize the truth that I actually am at a bit of a cross roads in my life where I am more alone than I was in the past BUT I have not been deserted, secluded, unwanted, unloved.

I am resting in the arms of the one who created me, has never left me, walks with me as I grow, trusting He will keep his promises and answer me when I speak, as he guides me through these new waters of being the mom of "bigger kids".  They may not need me to fix their breakfast, or help them bathe (okay so sometimes I still have to remind them to use soap) or teach them how to cut snowflakes and draw circles and squares that turn into houses and cars

BUT...now we are moving onto areas that I'm not as confident in...

Maybe the loneliness is a spiritual pride that much of motherhood to infants, toddlers, preschoolers and early elementary kiddos has been easy for me to do on my own, come naturally...now I get to help address heart issues and guide these boys into being future husbands one day.  Teaching and hopefully modeling for them how to work hard, be kind, forgive, be serious, play hard, win humbly, accept criticism,  have fun, be flexible, know Christ for themselves... (seems so much harder than keeping track of how many wet diapers they had a day)...whew, new waters I'm really going to have to have Gods help with.  Maybe its good that I don't feel very social right now, Not sure I could manage friends AND raising these little boys who are quickly becoming young men.

Sweet Micah

Sweet Micah- July 27 2016

 I cannot believe that this year Micah will be turning 7! He is growing more and more handsome each day and his heart is SO BIG! 

Mason is out of town at his second year of an amazing church camp, Camp Rock.

We began the weekend  trying to focus on making this a week for Micah.  We took the boys to see the new Jungle book, Micah could BE Mogley.  He loves people, critters and animal facts!  He loves to enjoy the moment, take in Gods creation and desires to point things out to you that he thinks are beautiful so you can feel or see the same beauty he does.  He doesn’t rush to do things, enjoys being at home and rarely asks what we are doing next.  (unlike his brothers J)

Before dropping Mason off at camp we took a family day trip to Linville Caverns and climbed some rocks out side and then explored the depths of the mountain cave.  Micah was in heaven.  He courageously conquered a tall rock, that to him felt like a mini mountain with NO hands, he not once was fearful leading the pack of tourist through a narrow crevice in the cave. 

We ate lunch at a little town bbq spot and Micah tried his best to eat the grilled cheese (food is his least favorite thing) 

After lunch we headed one mile up the road to Linville Falls Micah was so excited to see the falls he was hoping to be able to get in and try to stand BEHIND a waterfall…he handled the disappointment well when we discovered no one is allowed in the river or close to the falls…they were still pretty to look at. 

At dinner with the four of us Micah was a little chatter box.  Its so natural for him to not need to be the center of attention or leading the conversation or offer an opinion, that we didn’t ever even realize what we were missing out on when we remove Mason from the equation.   Mason is an amazing big brother, but we are seeing a new side of Micah when Mason isn’t in the lead. 

Monday, Chris went to work and after a trip to Carowinds waterpark where Micah was allowed to pick whatever he wanted to do he thoroughly enjoyed just wading around the water taking his time. 

Thanks to Poppy and Mam maw I arranged a date day for the two of us at TCBY while Ethan played battle with mam maw.  TCBY proved for Micah that white chocolate moose is indeed the best choice in frozen yogurt. (that’s my favorite too)   I am pretty sure Micah got a scoop of almost every topping in the store!  Over ice cream we discussed school starting soon and when I asked who he most hoped was in his class next year he said, Hmmm….Laithan, do you wanna know why?  Because he has a sickness and he might need someone to look out for him”…How Sweet is Micah?  Hes so good at thinking of others better than him self. 

A similar instance happed as Chris and I were playing a game with Micah before bed.  He was originally wanting to play connect four launchers and then when he surveyed the three of us he quickly changed his mind saying, “OH, I’ll just pick something else that three people can play, I don’t want to leave mom out”  Seriously, you cannot teach that!! AND he genuinely was happy about it! 

All of Micah’s free time this week while Mason has been gone has consisted of building forts in the bonus room with every sheet and blanket and pillow he can find.!  Or playing alone in the back yard or collecting frogs with Ethan. 

This Verse reminds me of Micah- Phillippians 2:3-4  Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others. 

God knew what he was doing when he sandwiched Micah between two driven, scheduled fast paced brothers!  They are all perfect for each other and I pray that as they grow their differences will reveal to them a new character trait of God the father, that they would grow to sharpen one another and always practice servant love and leadership.

Masons Baptism

Masons Baptism

I remember when I was a little girl, at the age of 7, along with my cousin Joya and several other church friends the morning I was baptized.  I wore a white dress with a lace along the hem, sleeves and collar.  I stepped into the baptismal pool where my dad reached out his hand to welcome me, not just into the water but to the larger family of God!  I had asked the Lord into my heart when I was 5 during a Sunday Morning service but now I was ready to make a public display in front of my family and peers.  I love the words of a pastor who said, “our relationship with the Lord begins personally but it cant stay private”  That’s how I remember feeling.  I remember knowing that God loved me and had called me to let others know about his love too.  I was fortunate to have my dad as my children’s pastor as a child and love that he was there at my birth and also the one who was able to lead me in really making my relationship with God personal. 

Now that I have children of my own I see that my greatest desire for them is to know Christ on a personal level.  To know that apart from him they are nothing. I get to be their mom but only God can be the one who is with them every moment of every day, every tough decision, happy experience and hurtful state.  I wish I could be with them and help them always navigate this life they lead but I know that its not my job to Save them, God has already done that, I just get to help guide and nurture them along their journey as God writes their story in HIS big story.

The children’s ministry at our church desires children to wait until 3^rd grade to get baptized.  Throughout this year several of Masons friends were baptized and when he discovered the news that his friend from Life Group, Hutton Mudrey, was getting baptized he asked if his whole Life Group could go in to watch. 

Mason wanted to get baptized earlier this year but Chris and I were out of town so we asked him to wait. 

This summer Chris decided that in light of Masons questions about other faiths and other religions that arose from him having school mates that are from other countries, Hindu, Muslim, and catholic that this would be a great time to start with Mason on the foundations of what we believe as Christians.   They began reading and dialoguing through Lee Stroble’s kids series “The Case for Faith for Kids” and “The Case for Christ for Kids”  God has been pursuing Mason, and Mason is understanding why he believes what he believes. I am so thankful that God has allowed Chris to understand, early on, that anyone can write a report and attend a meeting for work, but only Chris can be the father for our three boys and what an amazing, kind, gentle, selfless, servant they have been blessed to call, “Dad”

3 weeks ago we heard the news that another baptism Sunday would be offered on July12, 2016 and Mason was thrilled that finally he would be able to participate in this public display of his decision to follow Christ.  Cool thing too…they are partnering the baptisim Sunday with a huge family celebration so there will be food trucks, waterslides and free pelicans snow balls too! 

He has been SO SO excited.  He keeps asking questions and after three days of him asking if maybe he could invite some people to attend the baptisim I sat down and finally said, “sure buddy who do you wanna invite” I honestly expected his list to include grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins I was surprised as he began going through his list that included school friends, his teachers and his principle too!!  

Oh Lord, I am sorry for keeping my personal relationship with you private.  I love that the spirit of boldness is so alive and active in Mason that he wants everyone to know he is a Christian!

Last night Mason was reviewing a bible verse he was asked to memorize before a baptism prep class we are going to tonight. Initially, he didn’t want to memorize the scripture or understand why he needed to go to the class because he already knows that baptism is a public display of your inward decision to follow Christ (he has never really liked busy work) but then he said, “well, I guess they just wanna make sure kids aren’t like, ‘so n so got baptized, they’re cool I wanna do it too”…so then we broke down the verse together.

“If you confess with your mouth, Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that he was raised from the dead, you will be saved.  Romans 10:9

The verse he was asked to memorize doesn’t say that in order to be saved you have to complete a check list of religious dos and don’ts.  “so if I don’t have the verse memorized they will still let me get baptized?”  OF COURSE, but a good way to share your story and know who Christ is personally is by reading and understanding scriptures…

The verse begins with stating fact, confessing that Jesus is Lord…Mason was ready to do that at age 4 when he dropped to his knees and raised his hands saying he wanted to ask Jesus in his heart.  But, there’s so much more to having a relationship with Jesus than simply knowing he is Lord.

I was helping Mason to see that its similar to chocolate cake with chocolate icing- he’s tasted it, we can look up pictures of cake and even find a recipe and do our best to explain how the cake tastes but the best way for anyone to understand chocolate cake is for them to experience it on their own, that chocolate cake does indeed taste good. 

That’s where the second part of the verse comes into play- “believe in your heart, that he was raised from the dead”  we discussed times of life that can get tricky and emotional where he would maybe wanna question where God was…”God why didn’t I make the middle school football team or the basketball team, why didn’t they wanna pick me to be on their team for kick ball at recess, why is this subject in school so hard, even when I study…” could lead to you feeling like your relationship with God is dead…but that’s why its important to know that NO MATTER WHAT Jesus is ALWAYS Lord!! I believe in my heart that He was raised from the dead and if he can be raised from the dead then surly my dark situation that didn’t go the way I hoped can be seen in the bigger picture of life.

AND…the promise is…

YOU WILL BE SAVED. 

Mason agreed Its not about us and what other religions say you need to do to reach God or be good enough so you wont come back like an animal in another life! NO!  Christianity is the only religion where God actually comes down to meet with us in person and desires for us to abide with and in Him now as we carry out our life and for all of eternity.

He said last night that he remembers asking Jesus in his heart when he was 4 but when he turned 8 everything started to make since for his life and he used to just memorize scriptures to get awards in AWANA but now that he is “9 and 7/12ths years old“ he knows what they mean and he recognizes that he is different then other kids, that he wants to be their friend but he can tell some of them haven't been introduced to Jesus...

 Our conversation was amazing... there is nothing like having an opportunity to walk along side your child and help them realize that the reason they are who they are and the reason they respond the way they respond is because the Holy Spirit is in them and they have fruit and they have a plan in Gods story. 

Lord, please continue to pursue Mason, chase after him.  You Lord, not me, are doing a great work in his life, continue to give him boldness to share your love with his friends.   Continue to use me to nurture and guide and point out your spirit inside of him. 

Alone Time

Alone time

Micah, my middle son really craves alone time.  He likes being with the family and playing games but one of his favorite things to do with us, even if he is 6 ½, is to snuggle and be read to.  He loves hearing stories and listening and entering in to conversation. 

This summer we have been bustling around between Carowinds, friends pools, parks, play dates…and  at night as I am tucking them in their individual beds my other two always ask without fail…”what are we doing tomorrow?” Micah on the other hand, asks with a hopeful grin below his freckled nose and raised eyebrows, “tomorrow, can just stay home?”

Micah likes to create a pretend world and doesn’t want anyone who isn’t in his imagination to be part of it.

When he starts to feel frustrated with his brothers I send him outside to play alone or take a lap around the house….he needs time to recharge, to fill up so he can function in a world full of people.

When we were on our way to Carowinds one day Micah said his favorite part of Carowinds is the car ride there and waiting in line together talking. 

He doesn’t need constant business, thrill, schedule and routine.  He thrives in loose environments, ones that aren’t competition driven and opportunities for there to be silence.  He craves one on one time alone with individual family members.

Being a student of your children is a huge task. 

My three are all so unique and God speaks to me through all of them. 

Micah reminds me that God desires for me to be still with him to slow down long enough to dream, imagine and really communicate with my creator. If I constantly make plans and fill my days I wont leave room for Gods plans, I will try to take personal ownership of Gods gifts to me and direct my course vs allowing him to be in control.   Micahs words, “can we just stay home” remind me that God is making my heart his home and I want to keep my heart soft, open, available.  Am I really allowing God to abide in me?  Am I really content to not have  a plan? Why do I shy away from deep conversations with God? What am I afraid He will say? Will I not want to respond?  If I never am alone with God I wont be able to recharge.  

Oh how God speaks to me through my children.

The hope in Micah’s eyes reminds me that God so desires for me to only want Him the most!  God thank you for pursuing me, desiring me to realize that in everyday moments that Micah sees “driving in the car on the way to somewhere, or while waiting in a line” that You desire to be with me.

James 4:7-8

Submit to God, Resist the Devil and he will flee from you.  Draw near to God and he will draw near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners and purify your hearts, you double- minded.

Let my mind and heart never be divided or double minded. But with full submission may I follow your lead and listen.

God was able to do some pretty amazing things in the lives of folks who were alone….being alone doesn’t have to be a negative thing or a punishment that requires separation.

Noah was alone in his obedience to follow God and God used him to save creation

Joseph was alone in the pit rejected and God elevated him to palace position.

Jonah was alone in the belly of a big Fish and God saved him and spared him to carry out his plan.

Moses was alone in the desert and God was able to speak.

Italy Schedule for the Grandparents

Italy April 9-17

Saturday April 9 leave for airport 3pm

Sunday April 10- Church

School Days-

·      Wake boys at 6:40 breakfast- cereal, waffles, oatmeal, Bagle

·      pack lunches (mason packs his own we just help with a sandwich and I slice an apple for him)

·      Micah needs reminders to stay on task clothes, teeth shoes hair.

·      Micah’s lunch- sunbutter and jelly sandwich, apple sliced and snack bag of chips/pretzels, sometimes also has a danimal or goguart tube from freezer and water bottle in outside pocket of book bag

·      Leave house at 7:15-20

·      Boys off bus at 2:55-3:00- they walk up from the bus stop

·      Snack as soon as they come in- fruit, or crackers, chips…

·      Mason has home work on the computer and needs help with spelling words may need help studying for quizzes or tests.

·      Micah has to read at least one book a day(little ziplock bag with books from school), review and sign his file folder sight words, and sometimes there are writing prompts in his agenda.

·      After homework they play or go ahead and do a chore- make them do a chore before screen time at 4:30- unload dishwasher, sweep under dining room table, sweep kitchen, wipe off bathroom sinks, dust my room, living room or bonus room, vacuum, fold towels, windex bonus room windows and glass doors, ask them to look around to see what needs to be done….I fold their laundry and they put it away where it goes- that’s a responsibility not a chore.

·      Dinner around 5:30-6.  Stay at table till everyone is finished with their food, everyone help clear the table then family activity- outside game, uno, hide and seek, dance party, battle, ...

·      Ethan Bed at 7- potty, teeth, bible story

·      Micah bed at 7:15 potty, teeth, feed fish, bible story, read magic tree house in his bed – lights out at 7:30

·      Mason sports devotional or Action bible at 8:00- goodnight hugs… he knows its his responsibility to read, brush, swish and take meds lights out for him at 8:15-8:30

·      Mason and Ethan may need Allegra – Micah hasn’t needed allergy med but can have it if you think he needs it.

Monday April 11- Family Dinner

Tuesday April 12

·      Ethan Swim Lessons at 1:00-1:30 Charlotte Aquatics in Pineville

7835 Little Ave, Charlotte NC 28226

Dress Ethan in swim shorts before you leave, bring a change of clothes and a towel, takes about 20 mins to get there from our house.

·      Boys have Tuesday folders, empty out school work, sign and return Masons test/quizes

Big Snack or Early dinner

·      Soccer For Micah Leave house at 5:10-5:15 for Micah Soccer at 5:30 Tega Cay Elementary- Shin Guards, cleats, water bottle and a ball.

Wednesday April 13- Kristel is on spring break with her kids and would love to have Ethan for the day if you want to drop him off.  She can keep him all day then be over at our house when the other 2 get off of the bus and stay with all of them until dinner time.  She has to be at her church in Tega Cay around 5:15.

Thursday April 14- Bible Study and Family Dinner

Friday April 15-

·      Mason and Micah Swim Lessons 3:30- 4 Charlotte Aquatics in Pineville

7835 Little Ave, Charlotte NC 28226

Boys get off the bus and quickly change to swim trunks bringing extra clothes to change and a towel

Dinner

·      Mason Football Practice 6:30-7:30 at Trail Head Park- may skip this for sleepover at Landons house…we can make arrangements with Lara, she said they could drive Mason to his Game on Sat.

Saturday April 16

·      Micah Soccer Game Tega Cay Elementary 10:30-  Uniform, Water bottle, Shin Guards, cleats and ball

·      Mason Football Game Turner Field 12:15- Water bottle, mouth guard, uniform.

Sunday Church- Chris and Mandy Home late

Lara Hull 704-953-0643

Kristen Barrowclough (Neighborhood Masons Friend Joshua) 803-524-7441

Annie Jones (Neighborhood Friend- Talans mom) 704-604-7717

Jennifer Coombs (Neighborhood Friend- Gage’s mom) 252-661-2196

Feel free to utilize the neighbors to help with the boys after school if you and Ethan don’t want to be back at the house when the boys get off the bus. OR if they want to have those boys over to play at our house you can text and invite the