FiA Blog Post

Become part of the one, beautiful, mesmerizing big picture.

FiA came in a time in my life when I was experiencing multiple areas of change.  My mother was reaching the one year anniversary of being cancer free, my husband and I had just changed churches and I was finishing up nursing my third boy, the last of my babies.  ‘Lois Lane’ had invited me to join FiA in the past but I always had an excuse.  She mentioned it again and I was at a place that I honestly didn’t have an excuse, other than sleep, and in light of my moms battle with breast cancer and the sweet boys God had blessed me with, I felt a strong desire and need to do my part to be in good physical health.  SO I told my self that if I happened to wake up at 5:00am vs my usual 7:00am that I would go.  The very next morning I just happened to wake up at 5:00am on the dot!   I quietly rustled around in the dark and found some clothes, tiptoed past my boys bedroom and drove off to embark on a new change in my life. A new relationship with FiA, not just one person, a group, an opportunity to get closer to who I was created to be.  A relationship I hope to have for the rest of my life.  FiA named me “Kaleidoscope”. A kaleidoscope is a cylinder with mirrors containing loose, colored objects such as beads or pebbles and bits of glass. On the outside it appears to be a simple cardboard tube but as the viewer looks into one end, light entering the other creates a colorful pattern, due to the reflection off of the mirrors. The more the viewer changes the position of the kaleidoscope the more new images can be seen.

I know its just a nick name, but for me it really is what FiA is for me.  I’ve never considered myself an athlete. More like one of the “Skinny Fat People” I read about, naturally thin on the outside but not very healthy on the inside.  Much like the big picture image in a kaleidoscope changes with the slightest move, so began my journey with FiA. The more and more I allowed myself to change, simply by waking up a little earlier, the better I felt, the more energy I had to be a wife, mom, daughter and friend.  The big picture of my life was changing. My relationships got stronger, deeper, more healthy! I became stronger! ‘Steele’ led us on a fitness challenge and I barely ran a mile in under 10 min, could hardly do 20 sit ups and couldn’t even do a pull up.  Each morning I continued to come, before I realized it I had changed! I didn’t wonder if I was going to set my alarm to wake up, it just became something that I did without even thinking.  I was now connected, FiA was a relationship.   A relationship that was creating a beautiful kaleidoscope pattern for my life.

Relationships come in different forms.  Relationship between husband and wife, mother and son, friend to friend, creator and creation.  Relationships change. Each individual relationship shapes us. Relationships take you somewhere. Move you to something new. They are a catapult for change.  The slightest shift can change the entire picture. Looking into a kaleidoscope is dynamic, ever changing, Its challenging to keep up with, but when you look at the big picture…mesmerizing.  Change is sometimes a welcoming face and at others a scary idea.  Change is often necessary for us to continue to become who we were created to be.  Often times I don’t want to change because I feel like its simply easier to stay where I am, I am comfortable with my picture of life at the moment I tell myself that the grass would be greener on the other side but I also know that it would still have to be mowed. Its hard to deal with the initial struggle in the beginning stages to get to where I see that I want to be.  Sometimes I recognize an area that needs to be changed and sometimes I realize I have changed without even remembering when I took the first step toward a change I needed!  Of all of the relationships that have led me to changes the one I am most grateful for is my relationship with my creator, my savior, my friend…Jesus Christ.  When Jesus leads me to change its an easier change than with other relationships.  I don’t have to try to figure it out on my own, plan out every detail…instead I can let go, and let him be the “real---ship” that takes me, leads me, holds me, understands me, knows me and enters me into an opportunity to consistently be loved and accepted in spite of who I am on my own. In spite of the influences I’ve allowed others to reflect on me. Somehow, a holy God, chooses to continue to change me.  Sometimes I know the change is needed and I am willing, sometimes He walks me through it kicking and screaming but I know that I am ready to go somewhere, I want to be on a ship that leads to life, a ship that has a future, a ship that isn’t intimidated by the waves but instead is ready to overcome. 

God has used FiA in my life to remind me that He has given me one body.  I can have lots of relationships with individuals and they will come and go, changing me, reflecting some of themselves on me and I in turn reflect who I am on them and as much as I might want to be in control of all of my relationships, I can’t.  But what I can do is take the right steps to take control of my health, my attitude.  I can be the best that I can be! I can strive to be a reflection of something greater than me and allow something beautiful to happen when I am walking in the reflection and light of God.  FiA has taken me from being a “skinny fat girl” who would have never considered herself an athlete and held me up to a new light, (even if its still physically dark outside) changed me, and in the moments when the burpees seem to be too much, the hill seems to big and the dips have my arms almost frozen… with encouraging words of FiA, …I choose to keep changing, keep moving and I feel the presence of God in the midst of those physical moments and the practice with those FiA struggles has led me to more victory in other areas that I may struggle with after I wipe the wet grass and mud from my clothes and drive away from my time with FiA.  I can now run a mile in 7.43 seconds, I never knew what a frog jump was or that I was good at it. I didn’t know what a bear crawl was or what it meant to Indian run and I never knew that I actually AM an athlete.  Thanks FiA I hope I continue to live up to my name Kaleidosope, and constantly keep changing!  I hope my relationships as creation, wife, mother, daughter, friend and now FiA only get stronger as they continue to change.  Every piece in a kalidiscope is important to the whole.  It starts small, with many different pieces. You are one of those pieces. I am one of those pieces. Don’t be afraid to contribute your piece, so that it can be reflected back and forth within the shifting paradigm of life, and become part of the one, beautiful, mesmerizing big picture. 

Kaleidoscope