Become part
of the one, beautiful, mesmerizing big picture.
FiA came in a time in my life when I was experiencing multiple
areas of change. My mother was reaching
the one year anniversary of being cancer free, my husband and I had just
changed churches and I was finishing up nursing my third boy, the last of my
babies. ‘Lois Lane’ had invited me to
join FiA in the past but I always had an excuse. She mentioned it again and I was at a place
that I honestly didn’t have an excuse, other than sleep, and in light of my
moms battle with breast cancer and the sweet boys God had blessed me with, I
felt a strong desire and need to do my part to be in good physical health. SO I told my self that if I happened to wake
up at 5:00am vs my usual 7:00am that I would go. The very next morning I just happened to wake
up at 5:00am on the dot! I quietly
rustled around in the dark and found some clothes, tiptoed past my boys bedroom
and drove off to embark on a new change in my life. A new relationship with
FiA, not just one person, a group, an opportunity to get closer to who I was
created to be. A relationship I hope to
have for the rest of my life. FiA named
me “Kaleidoscope”. A kaleidoscope is a cylinder with mirrors containing loose, colored objects such
as beads or pebbles and bits of glass. On the outside it
appears to be a simple cardboard tube but as the viewer looks into one end, light entering the other creates a colorful
pattern, due to the reflection off of the mirrors. The more the viewer changes the position of the
kaleidoscope the more new images can be seen.
I know its just
a nick name, but for me it really is what FiA is for me. I’ve never considered myself an athlete. More
like one of the “Skinny Fat People” I read about, naturally thin on the outside
but not very healthy on the inside. Much
like the big picture image in a kaleidoscope changes with the slightest move,
so began my journey with FiA. The more and more I allowed myself to change,
simply by waking up a little earlier, the better I felt, the more energy I had
to be a wife, mom, daughter and friend. The
big picture of my life was changing. My relationships got stronger, deeper,
more healthy! I became stronger! ‘Steele’ led us on a fitness challenge and I
barely ran a mile in under 10 min, could hardly do 20 sit ups and couldn’t even
do a pull up. Each morning I continued
to come, before I realized it I had changed! I didn’t wonder if I was going to
set my alarm to wake up, it just became something that I did without even
thinking. I was now connected, FiA was a
relationship. A relationship that was
creating a beautiful kaleidoscope pattern for my life.
Relationships come in different forms. Relationship between husband and wife, mother
and son, friend to friend, creator and creation. Relationships change. Each individual
relationship shapes us. Relationships take you somewhere. Move you to something
new. They are a catapult for change. The
slightest shift can change the entire picture. Looking into a kaleidoscope is
dynamic, ever changing, Its challenging to keep up with, but when you look at
the big picture…mesmerizing. Change is
sometimes a welcoming face and at others a scary idea. Change is often necessary for us to continue
to become who we were created to be.
Often times I don’t want to change because I feel like its simply easier
to stay where I am, I am comfortable with my picture of life at the moment I
tell myself that the grass would be greener on the other side but I also know
that it would still have to be mowed. Its hard to deal with the initial
struggle in the beginning stages to get to where I see that I want to be. Sometimes I recognize an area that needs to
be changed and sometimes I realize I have changed without even remembering when
I took the first step toward a change I needed!
Of all of the relationships that have led me to changes the one I am
most grateful for is my relationship with my creator, my savior, my
friend…Jesus Christ. When Jesus leads me
to change its an easier change than with other relationships. I don’t have to try to figure it out on my
own, plan out every detail…instead I can let go, and let him be the “real---ship”
that takes me, leads me, holds me, understands me, knows me and enters me into an
opportunity to consistently be loved and accepted in spite of who I am on my
own. In spite of the influences I’ve allowed others to reflect on me. Somehow,
a holy God, chooses to continue to change me.
Sometimes I know the change is needed and I am willing, sometimes He
walks me through it kicking and screaming but I know that I am ready to go
somewhere, I want to be on a ship that leads to life, a ship that has a future,
a ship that isn’t intimidated by the waves but instead is ready to
overcome.
God has used FiA in my life to remind me that He has
given me one body. I can have lots of
relationships with individuals and they will come and go, changing me, reflecting
some of themselves on me and I in turn reflect who I am on them and as much as
I might want to be in control of all of my relationships, I can’t. But what I can do is take the right steps to
take control of my health, my attitude. I
can be the best that I can be! I can strive to be a reflection of something
greater than me and allow something beautiful to happen when I am walking in
the reflection and light of God. FiA has
taken me from being a “skinny fat girl” who would have never considered herself
an athlete and held me up to a new light, (even if its still physically dark
outside) changed me, and in the moments when the burpees seem to be too much,
the hill seems to big and the dips have my arms almost frozen… with encouraging
words of FiA, …I choose to keep changing, keep moving and I feel the presence
of God in the midst of those physical moments and the practice with those FiA
struggles has led me to more victory in other areas that I may struggle with
after I wipe the wet grass and mud from my clothes and drive away from my time
with FiA. I can now run a mile in 7.43
seconds, I never knew what a frog jump was or that I was good at it. I didn’t
know what a bear crawl was or what it meant to Indian run and I never knew that
I actually AM an athlete. Thanks FiA I
hope I continue to live up to my name Kaleidosope, and constantly keep
changing! I hope my relationships as
creation, wife, mother, daughter, friend and now FiA only get stronger as they
continue to change. Every piece in a
kalidiscope is important to the whole. It starts small, with many
different pieces. You are one of those pieces. I am one of those pieces. Don’t
be afraid to contribute your piece, so that it can be reflected back and forth
within the shifting paradigm of life, and become part of the one, beautiful,
mesmerizing big picture.
Kaleidoscope
